When words matter: talk is cheap – until it costs you engagement
- Danielle Lord, PhD
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
Through years of the scientific management approach and so much focus on task and productivity, have we completely lost our ability to relate to one another? Low employee engagement can quietly erode your bottom line, drive away top talent, and damage your reputation with every missed connection. Reports from AgilityPR.com estimate that misunderstood words equates to $12,500 per person per year!
Retrieved 7/3/2025 from: https://www.agilitypr.com/pr-news/pr-skills-profession/bad-connection-study-finds-poor-communication-costs-businesses-1-2-trillion-annually/
I was recently coaching a CEO and VP (direct report) who have lost trust in one another over a word: soon. The CEO indicated to the VP that an important issue would be addressed again soon. But according to the VP soon didn’t come soon enough.
Lets start with some history. Our modern organizations are based on the principles of scientific management. This was a management philosophy based on time, task, and productivity. It was how our contemporary organizations functioned at the turn of the century. During the 1920s, however, the first ever series of studies of human psychology began called The Hawthorne Studies. These studies examined productivity, working conditions, and even our personal interactions revealing that our organizations are so much more than tasks. This important finding and created an initial shift to more human-centered strategies within organizations. Unfortunately, about the same time that we began to push for more human-centered strategies within organizations began, consultants entered the scene.
The first of the large consulting firms was founded by an accountant who had a strong belief in…the scientific management philosophy. And with the international influence that the large consulting firms have had, our organizational leaders have put more of an emphasis on task and productivity than relationships or humans. What could be more influential than higher profits through productivity. Hence, we have organizations that have put productivity over relationships: we’ve forgotten how to connect with one another.
Words are funny things. They hold different meaning to each person. In the qualitative research field we call this difference neoma and neosis. Meaning that the value I place on a word may be different than the value by others. I’ll explain further: when my husband and I first met he would explain his day as OK. To me, an OK day is meh, middle of the road, nothing great to report. To my husband, however, an OK day is a good day, nothing went terribly wrong, all was well. Now, back to our CEO and VP and how this all fits together.
Our organizations are suffering from the lowest engagement scores recorded. And because we are at such low levels of engagement, it is possible that we are not functioning at our best. Low engagement is a symptom of stress at work. And when we’re operating from a place of stress, frustration, and anxiety we are not using our frontal cortex where we make good decisions, ask critical questions, and use reasoning – this is why its called the executive function. As stressed, frustrated, tired people we’re using our emotional memory center to make decisions, and those are not always the best. This includes how we interpret conversations and words. When we do not have a common understanding of a word, we have missed expectations, which contributes to a breakdown in trust, relationships, and engagement. The missed expectations, common understanding, and defined metrics around the word soon nearly cost the CEO and VP their important work relationship.
In today’s hybrid work, the uptick in digital communications, and even generational shifts getting very clear about words by adding standards, metrics, and even a definition can demonstrates why clarity is more important than ever.
The best way to increase engagement is through more relationships, not less. When we’re in relationships with one another we are more likely to ask important questions, have more trust, support each other during challenging situations, and are more likely to move beyond misunderstandings with much greater ease. All of these things contribute to employee engagement. Bottom line: if we want to move the needle on employee engagement, putting an emphasis on relationships is key.
Here are a few key takeaways:
1) Be sure to add metrics around words that may be taken out of context or that we often consider to be nebulous. In stead of soon, perhaps the proposed statement is at our next one to one meeting, after you’ve hit a specific milestone, or before the year is up.
2) Begin each email or written correspondence with a greeting, even a simple “hello” sets a different tone. Several researchers have found that a simple greeting is more than a mere formality, it’s a proven way to set a positive, conciliatory tone that enhances relationships. This alone helps to improve engagement through relationships, trust, respect.
3) Use and document SMART goals for additional clarity, deadlines, and actionable items. SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. Using one to one time to identify these items together helps to add clarity and expectations.
4) One-to-ones are also a great way to stay connected and ensure that timelines remain on track and do not get de-railed as daily tasks pile on and strategic priorities shift overtime. One to one meetings are included in our exclusive toolkit!
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